I made my way to east coast chalet last saturday .. It was a big B indeed .. What I meant was , it was BORED .. Went there with my family .. Upon arriving there , alot of aunties , uncles , cousins and whoever .. Haix .. Let's cut it short .. When nite approached , I'm bored to tears .. Surprisingly as I NEVER in my life felt that kinda boredom and emptiness when I am at the beach .. No one called me on my cell phone .. No one messaged me .. How sickening was that ? When I don't need them , THEY are there .. When I need THEM to entertain me , they are not there .. Fortunately my blood and latest ex called..Save my nite .. LOL !!
BLA 3 .. Reached home .. Damn restless .. Need plenty of rest ... YAWN ..
loner_freaky - 11:13 PM
Thursday, April 27, 2006
[::..!@#$%^&*!..::]
I FUCKING HATE school !!
STUPID rules and regulation !!
I did PLAYED TRUANT !!
Am I to BLAME ?
School is so DAMN BORED !!
We just sat there and FUCKING ROT !!
( ANYONE WHO AGREES WITH ME .. PLEASE PUT DOWN YOUR VIEWS .. )
loner_freaky - 12:52 AM
[::..We are two worlds apart ....::]
He's gone ; he's dead
I got to learn , this is fate
The things he said
Is just a memory instead .
Yes , in the silence I cried
I can no longer run nor hide
I tried to put him aside
However his name still recite .
His presence still lingers
Testing my inner fears
He used to be my dearest
My dreams now shatters .
This shall come to an end
An end , he need to understand
I'm now just his friend
Is it hard to comprehend ?
loner_freaky - 12:40 AM
[::..A SAD STORY OF A *#@! FAMILY..::]
The silent cry
The pity child
Oh, so why ?
The mum's gone wild ..
Left the baby there
Alone on the side
She never care
I was totally right ..
I sympathised
I hated her
She never realised
Her child suffer ..
The baby's gone
Gone for good
The thing had forlorn
Nothing she brood ..
Still bugs me
Sadden my thoughts
Call herself mummy
Let her child rot ..
Can't just blame her
She's so young
Where's the stupid father ?
Guess ; again his drunk..
Drunkard alcoholic freak
Sick in the mind
Knees gone weak
Eyes turn blind ..
loner_freaky - 12:13 AM
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
[::..Just a smile..::]
I really miss you
Don't you miss me too ?
Many things I can't do
Thanks to you ..
I'm still hoping
You would be calling ..
Why I kept dreaming ?
Why I'm still waiting ?
My heart shattered
My love life bittered
Treated me like a dirt
I felt so hurt ..
In silence I cried
My tears had dried
I did tried
to put you aside ..
But my efforts are in vain
Again I felt the unbearable pain
A pain in me and my brain
Will it just drain ??
A broken smile appeared on my face ..
Don't you miss me too ?
Many things I can't do
Thanks to you ..
I'm still hoping
You would be calling ..
Why I kept dreaming ?
Why I'm still waiting ?
My heart shattered
My love life bittered
Treated me like a dirt
I felt so hurt ..
In silence I cried
My tears had dried
I did tried
to put you aside ..
But my efforts are in vain
Again I felt the unbearable pain
A pain in me and my brain
Will it just drain ??
A broken smile appeared on my face ..
loner_freaky - 12:39 AM
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Does it bother u people out there ?
My life story I wanna share ..
My black past kept haunting
And you bloody peeps kept criticising ..
I don't need symphathy
Stop being friendly
When actually you are not
You just love seeing me rot
Rot in this burning hell
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Life like a bed of roses
Will it ever occurs
To someone like me
Whom always feeling unhappy ??
A question left unanswered ..
loner_freaky - 11:32 PM
Friday, April 21, 2006
[::..For my latest ex - Arif..::]
I used to say :
I love you dearly
I miss you badly
You're my hubby
I'm your baby ..
It had to end :
I can no longer endure
The hurting,I can't cure
My tears began to pour
Not you , I adore ..
Why :
My feelings fade
It's too late
I guessed this is fate
A fate,God made ..
Wishes :
To see you look happy
Be with some other lady
sadist ; you won't be
Please forgive me ..
Now :
My words shall go unspoken
All I want is to be forgiven
A lesson indeed for you to learn
The love we shared had burnt ..
loner_freaky - 5:50 PM
Thursday, April 20, 2006
[::..still bleeding..::]
Loving and missing you
Is the hardest thing I could do
Eventhough you're not my boo ,
I knew you love me too ..
I know we'll not last
As you , I dare not trust
Now its me , you cast
THEM ; 4 u is a must ..
My time and effort are in vain
What I had was just hurt and pain
My tears can turn into rain
That's how you hurt me time and again ..
Little did I know
I was just for show
It's me you throw
Now, you are my foe ..
I'll just fucking bleed inside
Everything never turns out right
Without you by my side
Unknowingly , I cried and cried ..
It had to end
The relationship , I meant
Regards,I send
To you my 'Friend' ..
Our fairytale was never a reality
Its just a dream and a story
All the best 2 u ZARI
The one , I thought my ONLY ..
loner_freaky - 10:07 PM
[::..???..::]
Dissatisfied soul = me
Make me believe
Let me see
Whose the real me
Behind this identity ..
________________________________________
loner_freaky - 9:54 PM
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
[::..WHATEVER !!..::]
What their fucking problem man ?! Peeps whom neither my friend nor my acquaintance just simply criticise me !! Who the freaking hell are they ?! They have no position to tell me what's right from wrong .. They don't like the way I am then too bad .. I condemn peeps who criticise me .. What the fuck man ?? They are not some style fashion GURU's ..I like to wear what I 'm comfortable with ..My wearing does signify my personality .. What I like doesn't bothers them .. Just shut the useless crap !! I'm not listening !! Bullshit !!
loner_freaky - 2:53 AM
[::..Without you I can live ....::]
I was too kind
I was indeed blind
You let me go
I was just for show
Just a simple goodbye
Makes me wanna cry
I'm still crying
I'm still waiting
Thought you will be by my side
Guess I was never right ..
I trusted you whole-heartedly
In the end , what you did to me ??
It still bugs me everyday
Luckily I did not lead astray
Hmm !!
This will then come to an end
An ending that's easy to understand ..
Goodbye !!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I need a shoulder to cry
I really need a fren or a guy
A big hug to comfort me
A pair of ears to listen to me
A place to drown my sorrows
Forget my life's bitter scenarios
Who will that be
The one who calls me Baby !
loner_freaky - 2:20 AM
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
[::..Apology again..::]
I don't mean to tain your reputation .. Fine you apologised and I'll let the matter rest ..You did explained .. I don't need to return back all those items .. You are nice .. Aaaaaaaaaarrrrgggghhhhh Whatever me tired ...sian..
loner_freaky - 12:25 AM
Monday, April 17, 2006
[::..Sorry Blood aka Eim..::]
I tot you'll nvr b by my side
However I was not right
At last,you still care
Maybe I wasn't aware
Sorry for accusing you
I'm at fault too
Sorry for everything
Just remain this loving ?
You still the best
We let the matter rest ..
Missssssssss Youuuuu !!!
loner_freaky - 2:37 AM
Saturday, April 15, 2006
[::..Save me while you can ....::]
I need a break ..
For goodness sake ..
I feel like quiting
As I kept losing ..
I'm such a loser
Indeed a failure ..
The truth in me reveal
That's not a big deal ..
Slowly n slowly
I will turn to recovery ..
I should stop complaining
Act and do something ..
I really need some guidance
Lead me to the right distance ..
pppppwwweeeeeezzzzzzzz !!
loner_freaky - 8:39 PM
Friday, April 14, 2006
[::..What's happening ??..::]
SAVE ME FROM ME
DON'T WANNA BE ME
ME WHOM CHANGING
SO SICKENING !!
I dunno what I want
I hate whatever's done ..
WHATS WRONG WITH ME ?
JUST LET ME BE ??
I'M CONTRADICTING MYSELF..
OH SHIT !!
IT'S HERE
IT WON'T EASE A BIT
THAT'S FEAR
SENSE IT
DAMN NEAR
I sound like a LUNATIC ..
AM I ? AM I ?
A POSSIBLE FRRRRRREEEAAAKK ??
loner_freaky - 10:22 PM
Thursday, April 13, 2006
[::..Sick and Tired..::]
Are you really my bestfriend ?
Why is it hard to understand ?
Where were you last nite ?
When I'm shaking uncontrollably inside ..
Luckily my other friends do care
They were totally there
I'm disappointed with you
I just don't know what to do ..
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
YOU ; ADAM
Always 'calm'
You were also not there
Sleeping is all you care
I regret loving you
Luckily you not my boo
GO TO HELL
FUCK-OFF JERK !!
---------------------------------------------------------------
I've heard enough
You don't need to bluff
Just go away
You fuck anyway ...
IRRITATING PEST IS ANOTHER MESS !!
loner_freaky - 7:32 PM
[::..A sucky day !!!!!!..::]
Yesterday was the most disappointing day ever .. fine ! I'm suck in every single little things .. Frm academic to sports to BGR to religion..All I failed..Such a failure..I only realised it yesterday after the sports day..WE got fourth in position..both events..4 x 100 and 8 x 200..Those volleyball players are damn ahead of me..I really felt low when that freaking fat girl ran past..That suck big time ! Haix..thats sports..Academic,I kept failing all of my tests..Assignments given,never complete and bla bla bla ..
Thats why I felt so fucked tub n ending up being high...Act like an insane freak..A minit I laugh,next minit I cry..I drowned my bloody sorrows..I drink neither beer nor wine..Just a plain cola with panadols..Only six tablets throughout the whole dae..
Anyway thanks 2 my friends who have seen me at my most vulnerable moment yesterday..Thnx 4 being there 4 me .. especially,Hasan who sent me home..Thanks ya all !!
loner_freaky - 6:52 PM
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
[::..me VS you and them..::]
I don't give a damn shit about you ! Go to hell for those who hate me because of you ! You gain their sympathy .. I am framed like a fucking bitch .. What I did was splitting with you ..Why must they give me their freaking stares and expressions..This got nothing to do with them !! They are such two-faced people..I got my bloody reasons for breaking up with you .. I don't do it for fun..You can't give me the sense of security..Yes ! You love me . Yes ! You showered me with money ,..etc..NOW you demand all those things to be returned..You shouted at me that I can't AFFORD to PAY BACK all those things..You know how I felt ? I felt that I lose my pride .. despised .. Tears in my eyes listening to your trueself..your true colours reveal .. YOU WANT YOUR MONEY BACK ... I'll return it 2 you..I'll be your debtor..Till my last breath , I'll remember this .. I'll pay back slowly even it takes years ..
loner_freaky - 7:50 PM
[::..Haix !!!!!!!!..::]
Slacking
Last few months
Studying
NEVER been fun
I'm just plain dumb
STUUUUUUUUUPID !!!!!!!
I never achieve anything
I'm such a failure
Again I'm drowning
My vision is less clear ..
loner_freaky - 7:30 PM
Friday, April 07, 2006
[::..Dedication 2 my blood - Eim aka Big Boy..::]
Friends are not just your companies
Friends are not,you called enemies
They will always be there
To love and care
Indeed,I'm your friend
This will never come to an end
You are the best
Among the rest
Please cherish this friendship
Which I will always keep
Be there 4 me 2
As my bestfriend is only YOU....
loner_freaky - 7:34 PM
Thursday, April 06, 2006
As time went by
Memories fade
Tears went dry
'WE'are dead ..
No longer two
Just myself alone
No me and you
'WE'are now unknown ..
I led my life again
Refused to flashback
Fear;Fear of my pain
That's the fact ..
---------------------------------------------
A PIECE OF REAL PUNK LIFE ...
I want to be free
Free from everyone
loner,that's me
I've came undone..
Many awaits me
To hit me hard
Till I'm in agony
Then they'll part ..
Still trying to hide
Still trying to escape
Their rules;I have to abide
Others are used or raped ..
I'm shivering,I'm terrified
Still trying to run away
From these bloody fights ..
This is not my story.Its somebody..
loner_freaky - 3:10 AM
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Last 2 days,i went to Nurul's birthday party..Upon arriving at 2pm sharp,nobody I knew was there..I mean my other friends were late..Her house filled with her families laughters and jokes..I went there with Rizal and Rin..I filled my grumbling stomach wif her home cooking delicious meals..Not only that,we get 2 eat her fruity sweet mouth watering desserts..I was there about an hour plus..I need 2 watch some1 soccer match..Therefore I hurried my way to the match..bla3..Go home after that......
Today,I had my worst class test for this term ever ! I was freaking stressed-up.lol.I did revised.However the questions tested nearly exploded my brain cells.Haha !! Just exaggerating...What I was trying to say was the Maths paper was damn challenging indeed...I'm seriously gonna fail..AaRrGgHh!!!!!!!!
Well my mid-year is around the corner,got to start revising....
loner_freaky - 12:07 AM