[::..To my fellows out there ........::]
LET ME DIE . DON'T RESCUE ME . i'M NOT WORTH SAVING FOR . ABHOR ME .
I DESERVE IT . I'M JUST A CRAPPY ASS HOLE . YES , I'M PESSIMISTIC . YES . I'M NEGATIVE . YES . I'M HARD - HEARTED . AND YES I'M REVENGEFUL . DESPISE ME , WILL YOU ?? Can you change me ?? DON'T even think about it cause I'm a hopeless girl ......
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loner_freaky - 10:44 PM
[::..THANKS !!..::]
mayB letting you be my stead
was my GRAVE mistake
All u did was let me wait
Now I should retaliate ..
Why should I play with the silence ?
When you always disappear without reasons
You are always ignorant
guess breaking up will let u learn ..
Learnt that you can't hurt me
Either u will end up in misery
or I'll end up with somebody
Obviously that will make u ' happy ' !!
I had enough of your damn lies
even you have not listen to my cries ,
You should know my love for you will soon dies
THANKS TO YOU , I begin to abhor guys ..........
loner_freaky - 10:25 PM
[::..To whom it may concern :<..::]
Your last words and a simple goodbye , makes me cry so hard .. Losing a friend like you is the hardest thing I can ever imagine .. BUT I no longer need to imagine it because you spit the words right on my face thats where I know our friendship had came to an end .. An ending that's hard for me to understand .. What did I do to deserve this ?? Is being totally good and nice towards a friend a crime ?? You told me you don't wanna get too attached in this friendship because you are afraid you might fall for me ?? Is that suppose to be a positive thing to do ? Guess what ?? Its SELF - CENTRED act .. you left me weeping and feeling hurt .. Would that satisfy your soul ?? It still bugs me .. Well I learnt that good things always had to end whether you like it or you don't .. However , I'll never forget you .. thanks for every single thing .. Like i said memories will forever etch in my mind and heart .. NOW we will then part .. WE are buried alive on 31/5/06 .
loner_freaky - 2:00 AM
Monday, May 29, 2006
[::..money !!!!..::]
Please tell me if i'm changing .. I'm acting like a stucked - up little bitch .. I'm just bored wit my lame life !! IF I have lots of money , I'm goin for a piercing spree !! That will make me happy ! I want to go to some gigs .. I am told 13 and 15 june , there's a gig .. AND if I'm not mistaken , theres a gig around this wk ..I SO in NEED OF cash for transport n food .. poor me .. DAMN !!
loner_freaky - 7:14 PM
[::..A NEW LIFE AHEAD ....::]
I had buried the past
My latest ex , I cast
knowin his love for me do lasts
However I always kicked up a fuss ..
When I was with him , I was happy
Especially when he really cares about me
But then , day after day , heated argument arise
That's when he was no longer nice ..
I then hate serious relationship
The hurt felt , is really deep
I learnt that LOVE = SIN .
Unless he's reeeaaaaaalllyyy 'CLEAN' ..
___________________________________________
Now my new b.f is totally different .
He looked rebellious but his decent .
So what if he's a skinhead
Doesn't mean I'll get rape !
ok fine he's not good-looking .
But he's interesting !!
YOU not happy
confront ME personally !!
loner_freaky - 1:09 AM
Monday, May 22, 2006
[::..What did i just typed ??..::]
GONNA LIKE FUCKING FAIL . GONNA LISTEN TO MY MOM'S WAIL . MY COMPLEXION TURNING SO PALE . BUT STILL EFFORTS ARE TO NO AVAIL .!! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF SCHOOLING AND STUDYING . ITS SO DAMN STRESSING .THIS IS SO SADDENING . PLEASE WAKE ME WHEN I'M SLEEPING . I KNOW OTHERS ARE THE SAME . ITS LIKE WE ARE BATTLING ON A STUPID GAME . STUDYING IS FREAKING LAME . FAILURES SENSE THE SHAME .I DOUBT WE THINK ALIKE .EXAMS SEEM TO BE YOUR DELIGHT . AND PASSING FEEL SO RIGHT . WHEN FAILURES LIKE ME RUN OR HIDE . JUST TO AVOID FACING THE EMBARASSMENT . SHED TEARS EVEN BLOOD FOR A MOMENT . FEELING THEY WEIGH THE BURDEN . THEN THEIR VULNERABILITY SLOWLY BURN .THEY TURN TO BE MORE PESSIMISTIC . THEY ACTING LIKE SOME FREAK . THEY RATHER SHOUT THAN SPEAK . BEHIND THOSE BRAVE FRONTS , INSIDE;THEY ARE ACTUALLY WEAK .believe me . i'm one of the minority ..
loner_freaky - 7:27 PM
In this world full of deceit and lies
Nobody ever listen to my cries
No place to confide and complain
The loneliness haunting me again ..
I can never run or hide
in the darkness and in the night
The emptiness lingers
It sense my inner fears ..
________________________________________
Killing me will ease my agony
But for you , It'll be too easy
Kissing me is so lovely
But do you think , I'm happy ??
Behind this smile and laughter
Left a big question to answer ..........
loner_freaky - 5:11 AM
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
[::..Aarrgghh !!!!!!!..::]
Not gonna cry again
Not gonna bleed in pain
WASTE MY ENERGY
HE NEVER SENSE MY SINCERITY
.
.
.
Why should I care ??
LOVE + LIFE = UNFAIR !!
loner_freaky - 11:39 PM
Monday, May 15, 2006
[::..To you , Arif ....::]
Split your heart for me
Is another thing you would do
To ensure I'm aware and happy
Wherever I'm with you ..
Don't waste your tears on me
It breaks my heart to see you cry
Our love is like a dream and a story
Someday , somehow , to you , I'll say goodbye ..
I'll never be a good girlfriend
A relationship , it always come to an end
Why you kept knockin on my door ?
You can never knock some more
My heart won't open up again
Since it fears of the pain
Please be Mr . Brightside
Eventhough , we are apart ..
Whatever it is , memories will forever etched in my mind and heart ..
loner_freaky - 10:46 AM
Oh Dammit .. how imperfect can I be ?? I don't even know how to explain to my parents about my disappointing grades .. I flunk ALL of my subjects .. I'm so gonna be grounded .. For english , my spellings and grammars are becoming more deteriorating . God ! can u believe it ? Out of 36 pupils in my class , 6 only passes .. How saddening is that ?? For mathematics , its a gonecase ! Others are all about the same .. This is the worst exam I took in secondary school ... Its apparently a WAKE - UP call for me .. Need to start pulling up my socks as its not too late to start NOW .. Need lots and lots of advices , motivation and an extremely positive thinking .. My fellows out there PLEASE talk some sense into ME .. Before I got drowning again and being a failure all my LIFE .. I wanna get good grades for my '0's .. 'O' level , I mean !!
loner_freaky - 4:22 AM
Saturday, May 13, 2006
[::..Dedication for Ajim aka Sh0rt legs !..::]
To you my new friend
Hope this friendship won't end
I know you are deeply hurt
What she did was totally absurd
All you did was to love her
However you , she did not treasure
Fret not , I'm a friend to care
I'll try to always be there
Be it rain or sunshine
I'm supporting you from behind
If I could stop your bleeding
You can then stop the hurting
Like I said , Time will heal the pain
Guess you will never love again
Thanks to her , ur ex - lover
She will be your history and not the future
Everything have its own reasons
LOVE can't be force so let it burns ..
What I said won't ease your agony
This is to show , I do care shorty !
loner_freaky - 6:37 PM
Friday, May 12, 2006
[::..I'll let the matter rest asap ...::]
I'm not a puppet on a string
I know how to do my thing
Who are you to force me ?
Just an adult not an elderly ..
You think we are immature
You seem so damn sure
Look on the on other hand
They are the ones that pretend ..
MayB I started the argument
I can possibly be forgiven
But she's so fat - headed
That started to hurt ..
I don't close an eye
I will not ask Why
I'm just defending my right
To hell if they wanna fight
I'm not a scaredy - cat
From nice , I'll be fucking mad
They tested my patience
That's not an exception
THAT THEY ARE INNOCENT !!
loner_freaky - 11:32 PM
[::..Awaitng patiently for your presence ....::]
I'm not being my true self lately .. I still refuse to apologise to whom I did criticised or hurt badly .. Because THEY deserve rightfully to be looked down upon .. I don't mind being hated or discriminated as I went through alot of rough patches in my life .. I'm NOT born with a silver spoon in my mouth and my life is NEVER a bed of roses .. I don't give a damn if anyone off you peeps out there abhor me .. I'm used to it ..
Trying to hunt me down ? Trying to bash me up ? Whoop my ass ? 'SAY WHAT ??' Oooh I'm so scared ..
loner_freaky - 11:13 PM
Thursday, May 11, 2006
[::..Are PROMISES meant to be BROKEN ??..::]
Save me while I'm still breathing
Stop my internal bleeding
When my heart is still beating
That's a sense that I'm still living ..
Don't run or escape
Don't pretend that I'm dead
Even I'm no longer your stead
You've broken the promises , you've made ..
All this crying and hurting
Is making me sick and its tiring
Why don't you say something
To stop this kinda agony and feeling ..
Guess you are unaware
That I'm always there to show love and care
This endurance , I failed to bear
Maybe Its not our love to share ..
You took me for granted
You've got what you always wanted
Now , you left me feeling hurt
You never kept your word ..
loner_freaky - 6:11 PM
[::..'smile "..::]
THEY ARE JUST JEALOUS OF ME .
THEY CAN'T SEE ME HAPPY .
THEY ARE PIECES OF SHITS.
I'LL LOVE TO SEE THEM BLEED .
LET THEM FEEL FUSTRATED .
MAKE THEM FUCKING HURT .
KEEP HATING ME .
I DON'T FEEL SHITTY .
I'LL GET THE LAST LAUGH
THEY WILL BE SLICED INTO HALVES ..
loner_freaky - 5:34 AM
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
[::..why ?..::]
I felt my blood rushing through my veins .. I could feel my heart beat raising .. My anger got the better of me so I just trash out all the vulgaritives to a lil bitch .. She's unhappy cos I called her fren a poser but its the fact .. Her fren known herself as a gothic .. Knowin how much I love goth style ,fashion and especially the deep menings in goth liked songs .. Therefore I peep at her blog .. A chinese slow song I could heard indeed .. I asked her ' You sure nt u gothic ? you know wats require to define yourself as gothic ?' Then she was offended ..Shoot me some vulgar.. bla3 . I called her a poser .. Then her fren interfere ..Am I in the wrong ?? At least I appreciate the goth - liked song n noe something .. AaaaaaRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHH !! Chill out Jana .. who loves me , pls tag me .. Hmmuuacks to those who noe I'm NOT a poser !!
loner_freaky - 10:41 PM
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
[::..Dedicated to no one ....::]
Rejection , I felt before
But now , NOT anymore
I used to feel the sore
When my heart did tore ..
For the past fucking years
I shed blood , not only tears
Awaiting for your return ,
It's been a heavy burden ..
Why you had to make me feel this way ?
Now what you got to say ?
Just a simple SORRY and you walk away ..
If only I could make you stay ..
I did let you go
As I love you so ..
( the love died on the day you are no longer by my side )
loner_freaky - 10:29 PM
Monday, May 08, 2006
I'm feeling very fucked - tub right now .. I'm so freaking stressed up feel like letting this feeling go and made myself shed tears .. But my pride stop me ..
I can no longer bottle up this kinda pain its driving me insane ..
I'm stressing for the bloody examination .. I did studied yet the papers were damn tough .. I can barely complete the questions .. oh dammit !!
Guess I'm just stupid . Plain dumb indeed !!
FYI :
I despise peeps who tried to fake themselves when their real identity is just a lame - o freak ..
loner_freaky - 10:35 PM
Saturday, May 06, 2006
[::..Here I am..::]
Wake me
I'm sleeping inside
Save me
Make it right ..
To emptiness again
Since you left me
You turn me insane
I'm bleeding brutally ..
My eyes blurred
My knees are weak
My heart hurts
I'm internally sick ..
You escape . You run .
Try to hide
But I'm always behind ..
----------------------------------------------------------
My rules you should abide
Then I'll let you go
You're forever my foe
That's you should know ..
I'll return for REVENGE ..
Revenge till u meet your HELL
A HELL awaiting for your presence
Thirst for your blood ..
Die for your bones
Hunger for your flesh ..
I'll swear I'll hunt you down
FUCKER !!!
loner_freaky - 3:34 AM
[::..Bad .. Worst days of my Life !!..::]
I'm in an absolute deep shit
I'm freaking dead beat
NO time to rest even eat
Very heavy ; my eyelid
Ooh bed , here I am
Sleepyhead ; Oh damn
My brain cells are cramp
In this stupid exam
I FELL sick
I FALL sick
I'm FEELING sick
Bloody Freeeeaakk !!
There's a high possibility
A big F awaiting for me
My parents will see
The report card it will be
Red lines all over
I'm grounded forever
Sooner or later
AAaaarrrggghhh;WHATEVER !!
loner_freaky - 3:08 AM
Monday, May 01, 2006
[::..I'm nothing ....::]
I'm your echo
I'm your shadow
I'm there ..
Wherever you go ..
You never notice me
I'm never necessary
Others you see
But still not me ..
I'm not transparent
Look at me will you ?
Sense my presence
Ease my pain
For even an instance ?
( This thing can be a poem .. A poem is not on based how good it is but how you wrote it to express or explain something .. )
loner_freaky - 8:55 PM