I don't wanna split into pieces
I'm not gonna make those sacrifices
The sick feeling and emptiness ,
It won't leave me still it lingers ..
Nobody heard my cries
To them its just some damn lies
I'm not faking this agony
I'm not asking for sympathy ..
I just need you to understand me
That loving you is the hardest thing it could be ..
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I really love you yet I hate you
I'm inferior towards you
I hate you for being so fucking lovely !!
I hate myself due to my stupidity ....
WHO am I to deserve a talented , intelligent , interesting guy who is YOU ??
You play guitar , keyboard and violin . You had your own band and you are the lead singer of that band . I've seen you sang and scream .. You are amazing and impressive indeed . In addition , you are an advanced diploma holder , an art student and went through your 'A' levels . Besides that , you know alot of things and experienced alot too since you are now 21 .. Furthermore , you are mixed chinese and that would explain your appearance .. You are adorable as you look young and due to your height .. However , I love it when you embrace me tight because your body feels so rite .. love you again ..
loner_freaky - 12:25 AM
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
[::..its just me ....::]
Tell ya something about me you all should know .
I dun deny the fact that i'm pessimistic and paranoid .
I can jolly well hate peeps and them I would avoid .
If you makin me totally sick , I'll make you even more weak .
I rather remain silent than wasting my breath to speak .
Frankly speaking , I find it tough to forgive and forget .
So if you did victimised me personally , you might just regret .
I can be either your foe or your friend .
It depends whether you want it to end .
I can be nice and I can be twice ur nice .
but if u provoke me , why not you , I slice ?
If I hate you once , I'll hate you forever .
Be it now or the future ..
So if you want me in your existance ,
don't let this friendship burns ..
loner_freaky - 7:04 PM
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
[::..To you , Zari aka Adam..::]
I'm still missing you .
It did hurt and it still do .
I dun understand whats wrong with me ,
mayB loving you had turn me into insanity ..
But .. Tears, blood and pain
Won't make u remain
No matter how hard I cried
You would no longer be by my side .
Although we are apart ,
I swear thare's still a place for you in my heart ..
Why I kept falling back to you ??
When I know you don't love me too ..
The agony is making me sick ..
only GOD knows its making me weak ..
I can't bring myself to hate you ,
The more I tried to hate you , The more I'm in love with you ..
Memories of us always kept playing in my mind
Is loving and missing you , a thing peeps call blind ??
It can be true I suppose ...
P/S : to whom who likes to read my poems , keep on reading , there's alot more in the older updates .. thnks for appreaciating my poems .. THANKS again !!
loner_freaky - 6:38 PM
Monday, June 12, 2006
[::..TO A//F..::]
LOVE YOU . HATE YOU . LOVE ME . DO YOU ?? LEAVE ME ALONE . PUT DOWN THE FUCKING PHONE . DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN . YOUR VOICE IS DRIVING ME INSANE . STOP IT .. PLEASE .. I NEVER USED YOU . ALL I DID WAS JUST BEING MYSELF . PLEASE STOP BUGGING ME .. GOD ! YOU MAKING ME SICK !! I APPREACIATE WHAT YOU GAVE AND DID BUT THAT DOES'NT MEAN I M IN LOVE WITH YOU .. CAN'T YOU GET THE PICTURE ?? WE ARE DEFINITELY OVER ....
MUST I SHED BLOOD TO MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND ?
MUST I SHED TEARS TO LET YOU BE UNDERSTOOD ?
MUST I ??
OH DAMMIT !! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO HAVE THIS KINDA SITUATION ??
HHHHHHHEEEEEEEELLLPPP !!
loner_freaky - 2:07 AM
Saturday, June 10, 2006
[::..For Helmi aka Amy...::]
I know you won't turn back to look at me .
mayB I'm just your bloody history .
However I'll adore you without you knowing .
Its been since that you were the one whom I kept admiring .
I miss those days when you did looked at me .
When everything was fine and WE are happy .
Guess it won't ever happen again .
Since you fear , I might cause you pain .
I really don't know what to do .
Should I approach you when I see you ?
I don't have the gut .
I'm scared you might not like .
I don't deny that I fear of rejection
What if you wont ever return ?
HAIX !!!!! I dunno .......................................................
loner_freaky - 7:47 PM
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
[::..something for Adib..::]
I have nothing but the opposite of positivity
I did had you but it no longer meant anything to me .
Thought you were mine but mayB I'm just blind
Blinded by your fucking honeyed words when everything was damn fine .
I told you umpteen times , never get on my last nerve
Or you will regret for what you rightfully deserve .
I am neither threatening nor I am telling you
But this is to ask yourself why you hurt me too ?
Your disappearance and your bloody ignorance
Is making me sick and tired to listen to your 'explanation' .
I really don't understand you
Why you said you love me too ?
When all you did was give me shit
This relationship is making me dead beat ..
I'm tired . I hate you . I really do . forget me , let me go , WILL you ??
loner_freaky - 12:05 AM
Sunday, June 04, 2006
[::..i'm not okay !!!..::]
This bleeding would never heal
As the truth in you reveal
The agony I failed to bear
I then learnt ; even frienship is unfair .
Stop explaining
It won't ease my hurting
Thanks for acting like you care
Now you will never be there .
If killing me would ease your burden
I supposed you are guilt - ridden
It took me so long to find a friend like you
AND now you walk away too .
In this city so dead
All you give me was hate ..
Who am I suppose to turn to ?
When I'm no longer with you ?
Thought you will always be my friend
But you FORCE it to end .
My tears can turn to a river
My cold sweat making me shiver
The fear and wild thoughts entered
But still its the END of us and its absurd ...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I need someone to embrace me really tight
Dry my tears and accompany me all day and night
Listen to my heartbreaking events
And who I considered my friends ..
Guess I'm not worth caring for
I , people should abhor ..
AND please kill me so that HE'S happy !!
loner_freaky - 6:59 PM
Saturday, June 03, 2006
[::..:( .. but tnks alot to who cares abt me ......::]
Have you ever been knocked DOWN by a car ?? I have .. I was flung over about 15 m from where I was hit .. I landed on my back and I can't hardly move thats where the ambulance arrive .. Due to all this shits , my tongue hole closed , I mean the piercing part .. damn !! It happened recently .. Blame it on myself .. There's tooo much things 4 me to give a damn that's why the road accident happened .. BUT who fucking cares ?? Just a MINORITY of peeps .. I was straight send to NUH and was held up in the ICU for bloody four hours .. Pity my mom , gotta wait that long before she could see my condition .. Hmm THANKS to whom that hurt me and let me be in this state .. If I was cautious and not dwelling on unpleasant things this won't happened !!! Well YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH AND I'M NOT EXAGGERATING , JERK !!! ( this is 4 someone ..)
loner_freaky - 6:34 AM